2001 / 87 Minutes / R
Reviewed by Jason Jones

Would you believe it if I told you I’ve seen worse?

“Freddy Got Fingered” is easily the most pointless film I have ever laid eyes on. It serves only as a construct for Tom Green to operate within to take his distinct brand of “comedy” to a new level.

After reading that, you’re probably puzzled by the fact that I am giving this film a “D” rather than an “F”. The reason for that, my friends, is a man by the name of Rip Torn. I have always appreciated this fine actor in films such as “Men In Black” and “Wonder Boys”. He is an intensely quotable actor with lines such as “We’re not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here!” and “I am a writer!” forever burned in my mind. In this film he is given the unenviable task of having to portray Tom Green’s father. Quite possibly the most difficult role of his career. A lesser actor would have drowned in the role, but Rip makes the most of it. For the most part, his character loathes his son and Rip is delightful as he berates Tom at practically every opportunity. Why is he berating him you ask? Well, other than the fact that it’s Tom Green, the film’s, ahem, “plot” attempts to sort some of this out for us.

Gord (Tom Green) is a 28 year old loser who dreams of one day hitting the big time in Hollywood with his very own animated show. So he goes to Hollywood and gets his dreams shot down, thus sending him, with his tail between his legs, back to his parents’ house. This is where Rip becomes involved. He is not pleased with the fact that Gord has come back home. For a short time he thought he was rid of the fool and then he shows back up on the doorstep. Rip’s other son, Freddy (Eddie Kaye Thomas), has carved out a nice living for himself in the banking industry and Rip doesn’t understand why Gord can’t make anything of himself. From here the film essentially does nothing more than display Gord trying to irritate his father while also still attempting to realize his dreams. This might not be so terrible if not for Tom Green’s influence over the movie.

Did you see the possibility, anywhere in the above plot synopsis, of the following occurring? Tom Green becoming all wild eyed at the sight of a horse penis and, as a result of this, leaping over a fence and chanting “I’m a farmer” while dutifully jerking the horse off. Tom Green caning a disabled woman’s legs so that she can receive sexual gratification. Tom Green delivering a baby, biting through the umbilical cord, and then, as if that wasn’t enough already, twirling the baby about the room by it’s umbilical cord. This is by far the most obscene thing I have ever seen in any film… Ever! Anybody who sees any humor in that needs to be put under supervision immediately. Let’s see. What else was there? Tom Green licking a friend’s open wound with delight. The neighbor kid being repeatedly injured in decidedly non-humorous ways. Tom running around in a deer skin, although he does get hit by a semi at this part, which was rather funny. It’s just a shame he didn’t step in front of the semi in reality. Our lives would be much better for it. Lastly, as if jacking the horse off wasn’t enough, Tom decided to jack off an elephant as well. I’m sure I’m forgetting some, but I have a feeling you get the idea.

All of the actors, with the exception of Tom Green, are slumming here. Eddie Kaye Thomas (better known as Finch in the “American Pie” movies) has the disastrous role of portraying Tom’s brother Freddy. Thankfully he doesn’t have much screen time so, with any luck, this role will register as merely a speed bump in his career, rather than an abyss from which it may never return. Julie Hagerty of “Airplane!” fame has little screen time as well, although it was nice to see her working if for no other reason than to know that she still has a pulse. I have already praised Rip Torn for his resolve under rather unpleasant circumstances. Lastly, I must make note of the performance of Marisa Coughlan who plays the aforementioned caning recipient. She doesn’t have much to work with, but she seemed to be a very genuine, good-natured person. I have a feeling that she’s a struggling young actress, who was about to be evicted from her home and so had to become involved in this doomed enterprise in order to fulfill her financial obligations. Hopefully she finds something a little worthier of her talents in her future endeavors.

Basically all that Tom Green proves with this film is that he has a great deal of disdain for small children, the disabled, any species of animal in existence, and last, but not least, the filmgoing public. The only reason that the film works on the lowest level that a film can work is due to the efforts of Rip Torn and the fact that virtually every character in the film has a dislike for Tom Green’s character.

This is not recommended viewing in any way, shape, or form. The only reason for watching this would be to see what a truly terrible film looks like, or to watch Rip Torn spew profanity liberally. This film plays like a course in how not to make a major motion picture. So, if you’re in the mood for that, then by all means check it out.

If you’re in the mood for Rip Torn, on the other hand, I would recommend films such as the two I mentioned earlier (”Men In Black” and “Wonder Boys”). They are infinitely better films and I think Rip and myself would sleep much easier at night knowing that people were getting their “Rip fix” in the form of those films rather than the hopeless enterprise that is “Freddy Got Fingered”.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 23rd, 2001 at 5:43 pm and is filed under Jason's Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.