1992 / 112 Minutes / R
Reviewed by Jason Jones

I have a friend who rates this film as his favorite movie of all time. Now, I myself would not put it on a pedestal quite that high, but I can at least see where he’s coming from.

“White Men Can’t Jump” is director Ron Shelton’s (”Bull Durham”) attempt at reigning in the chaos that is life on the basketball courts of Los Angeles. He does a remarkable job of capturing the atmosphere of a day of hoopin’ it up. Anyone who has played playground basketball will immediately be able to identify with it. So with the aesthetics in place you are probably wondering what the movie is all about.

A synopsis of the plot would go something like the following……Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson) is a white boy from out east who is looking for a new area to “hustle”. His girlfriend (Rosie Perez) has grand aspirations of making it onto the game show “Jeopardy” and a voice that sounds like a cat being pressed through a strainer crossways. Shortly after his arrival Billy hustles the local “stud hoopster’, Sidney Deane (Wesley Snipes). After the hustle they decide to team up and do some cooperative hustling (for a change) in order to prepare for a big Two-on-Two tournament that is on the horizon. To add a little intrigue into the story, Billy is attempting to pay off a rather large debt to a couple of guys known simply as the Stucci Brothers. It seems they attempted to fix a game a while back and, when Billy decided not to go along with the fix, they lost their ass. Now they want it back and Billy is on a shortened timetable to come up with the coin. Hence the hustling.

What makes this movie work is the interaction between Woody and Snipes. They have some of the funniest dialog I have ever heard and it rarely lets up as the film progresses. The verbal barbs are delivered with a “can you top this?” flavor that inevitably leads to fits of uncontrollable laughter. If you want virtually nonstop laughs then this is your movie. In my opinion, it is second only to “Slap Shot” in the realm of sports comedies. “Slap Shot” rates higher on the merits of the “dick wiggling” scene alone. Watch it. You’ll laugh your ass off.

But that is another review entirely. I digress.

This film is not without a few serious moments, but they are quickly swept away with more trash talk which will quickly reposition the smile on your face and the laughter in your voice. It is also an intensely quotable movie with lines like: “Ain’t no thing, but chicken wing on a string from Burger King” and “I’m gonna put my mouth where this money is” to wet your appetite.

In determining my rating for this film I was torn between varying degrees of the “A” echelon.

Why was I torn you ask? I was immediately compelled to give it an “A” based solely upon the nuisance that is Rosie Perez’s voice. She sounds like a hooker on a Brooklyn street corner with a mouth full of chew. Yes, it’s that bad. For the defense we have Sidney Deane’s assertion that he “took Michael Jordan to the hole.” Now, anyone who knows me knows of the bitter resentment that resides in my heart for the aforementioned former Chicago Bull douchebag. So, it goes without saying, that a smile comes to my face every time Snipes recites that line. Problem is, later in the movie, he is wearing Michael Jordan shorts as part of his attire. Now, am I supposed to take this as his blatant reminder to everyone that he did take Jordan to the hole, or is he just an ignorant fool. I like to think that it is the former, but at the same time I can’t ignore the latter.

In the end Rosie’s annoying voice outweighs the merits of Wesley’s boasts and inconclusive short-wearing. Hence the “A”.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 21st, 2002 at 2:41 pm and is filed under Jason's Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.