Movie Review - The Chronicles of Riddick
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2004 / 119 Minutes / PG-13
Reviewed by Dale Nauertz
When “Pitch Black” arrived in theaters in early 1999, it was a breath of fresh air. Here was a science fiction thriller of uncommon intelligence and economy, a tightly wound, suspenseful thriller with unique characters. It was a B movie in the best possible sense of the word. It had everything that was necessary to make it a successful story and nothing extraneous. It reminded me of the early work of James Cameron, in fact, which is a pretty dandy compliment.
Now we have the sequel to “Pitch Black” and it is pretty much everything that the first movie wasn’t. The first was tight and economical; this one is broad and slack. The first one told a small story in close quarters and was dripping with suspense. This one sets out to tell an epic tale, but gets caught up in redundancies and dull situations. This one hasn’t got an iota of suspense or even an iota of sense.
It also hasn’t got a revelatory performance by Vin Diesel. In the first movie, Diesel was a hungry, young actor who still had to make his mark. He gave a great performance as Riddick because he had to. He gave a dangerous and unpredictable performance that was one of the benefits of that earlier film. In the subsequent years, however, Diesel has fashioned something of a persona that he feels he must adhere to in each and every film. His character in “The Fast and the Furious” is basically the same as his character in “XXX”. He’s no longer modifying his performances to suit the characters. Instead he is modifying the characters to suit his own persona. In “Pitch Black”, he became Riddick. In “The Chronicles of Riddick”, he transforms Riddick into the average Vin Diesel character, one with a surly, macho attitude and a witty catchphrase for each bad guy he excises. He’s no longer the same guy he was in the first movie, nor is he that guy as he would have been shaped by the events of that movie. Instead, he is a boring action figure with a gravelly voice and some truly awful dialogue.
No, Diesel isn’t the only thing wrong with this movie. He isn’t even the main problem. The main problem is the plot. At no time did I really understand why characters were doing what they were doing and at no time did the movie really give me a reason to care. The plot of the film, on paper, seems pretty cool: a group of religious warriors are moving through the universe converting every planet they encounter to their own beliefs and killing everyone who will not convert. It’s a great idea for a science fiction thriller, sort of like The Crusades in Outer Space. Unfortunately, instead of taking this idea and using it to its full potential to, like the best sci-fi, expose our own foibles and hold a distorted funhouse mirror up to humanity’s own beliefs and shortcomings, the film devolves into a dull action-fest. Instead of making the most of the film’s potential, we are treated to some really terrible computer effects and some wildly incoherent action sequences. Even the action scenes that this movie can’t screw up with bad editing it manages to mangle with inappropriate lighting or having them take place in silence. None of these effects ever enhance the material, they only ever detract. A scene about a group of people having to make it somewhere before the sun hits them could be cool if the film didn’t seem to change the rules about how the sunlight moves or how intense the heat is within the sequence itself. It’s hard to feel suspense when you have no idea what the hell is going on.
That’s the main problem with “Riddick”. It’s all action, and we have no reference for the action, so we feel absolutely nothing. I actually enjoyed the first ten minutes or so of the film, when it still looked like it was setting up something rather unique and cool. But the film then devolves into nothing. While a cult of fanatics is trying to convert everyone to their religion, where does the movie choose to spend its time? Watching Riddick catch up with an old friend in a penal colony. I guess this side-trip might have been kinda interesting if there wasn’t a potentially interesting story going on. But there is, so we don’t really care. Sure, the character of Kyra is a really interesting one (she’s the one he meets up with in prison, and she’s also the girl everyone thought was a boy in “Pitch Black”, all grown up and hot now) but the movie doesn’t give her much to do.
The effects are cheesy and dull, the production design is dull and lifeless, the score is generic, the direction is mundane, and the actors try but they are all at the mercy of some truly lame dialogue. You want an example? Okay, Riddick is being circled by the gorgeous Thandie Newton (by the way, to HELL with Halle Berry; how can anyone consider her attractive when Thandie is walking the Earth?) and he takes a big whiff of her. He then says, and I quote, “It’s been a long time since I smelled beautiful.” No, you didn’t misread that. That’s actually what he says. The rest of the dialogue isn’t much better. Dame Judi Dench and Thandie both seem to be trying to make the most of it, but there isn’t a hell of a lot they can do here. Colme Feore emerges best as the chief baddie of the piece, but he’s not as memorable as he was in the Stephen King miniseries “Storm of the Century” (my favorite of King’s miniseries, rent it today).
If all you want out of your summer entertainment is watch Vin Diesel walking around looking vaguely phallic and sounding gravelly, that’s fine. This is the film for you. Enjoy. But if, like me, you were hoping for a little something more, then give this flick a pass and move on with your life. There has to be something better for you watch. There just has to be.
