1997/ 129 Minutes / R
Reviewed by Dale J. Nauertz

I’m thinking about doing a series of articles on films that actually deliver the popcorn movie goods, without going back to the usual suspects and legitimate classics (i.e. “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, “Star Wars”, “Jaws”, etc.). Now, before you all get too excited, you must realize that I am probably too lazy to stick with such a thing, and I may have trouble thinking of enough movies that fit the requirements I would impose on such a subject. For one thing, the movie has to have plenty of explosions. Secondly, it needs to have characters that you actually care about. Third, it has to have something that clearly distinguishes itself from all the other blockbuster and wannabe blockbuster dreck. And, of course, it must be fun.

Just in case I do stick with this concept, here is my first entry into the series I will entitle Non-Classic Popcorn Movies That Don’t Make You Feel Like a Retard (I know, I know, it needs a better, shorter, all-around catchier name).

“Starship Troopers” was released in 1997 and the world responded to it with a resounding shrug. Sure, it had explosions and boobies and gore…but it was a film that was too downright weird to cause much of a rustle at the box office. It also had too many explosions and boobies and gore to cause much of a stir with the critics. If it hadn’t been directed by Paul Verhoeven, the idea of a futuristic, fascist military fighting a planet filled with giant bugs might have spurred controversy. But Verhoeven had already helmed “Robocop”, “Basic Instinct” and “Showgirls”. “Starship Troopers” has sex and copious amounts of nudity (in the future, military showers are now co-ed) but “Basic Instinct” and “Showgirls” had more. The violence in it was extreme, but so was the violence in “Total Recall” and “Robocop” so, again, this was no big surprise. The movie also had some highly satirical content that took some potent, sometimes downright vicious jabs, at society. But the absurd, hilarious, satirical commercials in “Robocop” had already tipped Verhoeven’s hand on that point as well. If Paul Verhoeven was trying to shock anyone with “Starship Troopers”, well, he failed. He had already beaten himself to the punch on every score. In this way, he’s sort of like a cinematic version of Madonna. He’d shocked us so many times that we weren’t capable of being shocked anymore.

So it’s a good thing that Paul Verhoeven isn’t trying simply to shock with “Starship Troopers”. Instead, I believe that he’s trying to make us think.

In one of the film’s first scenes, a high school teacher is telling his class that Democracy didn’t work. He then goes on to explain that the philosophy that “violence never solves anything” is a bunch of outdated horseshit. Violence, Michael Ironside’s one-armed military reservist elaborates, solves anything. It is the only thing that anyone will ever listen to. Is this subtle? No. But it’s pretty damn fascinating. In the future of “Starship Troopers”, only those who have served in the military are considered “citizens”. They are the only ones that get to vote. They are the only ones that get to have kids. They are, apparently, the only ones who get the sort of life that everyone else aspires to. This is a society with a strong military, an iron will, and white people inexplicably living in Buenos Aires.

So I think it would be safe to assume that this is the wrong society for a planet of enormous arachnids to fuck with.

On the other side of the galaxy from this brave new world order is Planet Klendathu. It is a planet populated by big, nasty bugs. One of the rumors circulated in this future Earth’s news media (a media showing public executions on every channel) is that Earth’s military invaded the Klendathu solar system, thereby antagonizing the bugs. But whatever the reason, the giant bugs shoot deadly plasma from their asses, knocking an asteroid off course, which hits Buenos Aires and obliterates it. (I swear I am not making this up.) The military response is exactly what you might expect: “The only good bug is a dead bug!” The kids of Earth don’t rush to join the army, because they already did that after graduation, but they gain enthusiasm. Soon they are on their way to invade Klendathu, kill all the bugs, and let God sort them out…or something.

Are there explosions? Oh my, yes. Big, pretty, bright orange explosions. Giant, CGI and model bugs get destroyed in truly satisfying, explosive, disgusting ways. So do humans. And spaceships. And Buenos Aires. In short, lots of shit blows up real good. So we’re pretty well covered on that front. And thanks to the co-ed showers, we get to see plenty of flesh, which isn’t mandatory to having a good time at the movies, but it’s kinda nice. There are even some bare male asses to appease any ladies that feel like watching a film about giant bugs getting blown up. The special effects are still pretty impressive, nearly ten years later. There are a few shaky spots, but no moment is fatally outdated. Does it have characters you actually care about? Well…no, not really. Any film with Casper Van Dien in its lead is going to have problems making you give a shit about him…and this one is no different. He does as good a job as Casper Van Dien can, I’ll admit that. So does Denise Richards. She doesn’t get naked (sorry, fellas) so the main reason to cast her in a film like this is gone. However she doesn’t embarrass herself as badly as she did in “The World is Not Enough”, so I guess she’s more believable as an interstellar pilot than as a nuclear physicist named Holly Christmas (ugh)…whatever that’s worth. The real star of this movie is Neil Patrick Harris (who will always be Doogie Howser to me, no matter how many sitcoms or productions of “Rent” he’s starred in). He’s eerily believable as an egotistical, telepathic military genius. I never knew he had it in him. When he shows up late in the film with hollows under his eyes and a terse attitude, we know that he’s seen a lifetime of terrible shit in just under a year. His eyes tell us a horrible backstory that the film never supplies.

As far as whether or not this film distinguishes itself from the average popcorn movie, well, I think you can already guess my answer to that. Some of the dialogue is pretty cheesy, but this movie makes it work. Casper Van Dien actually says the line “You’re some sort of big, fat, smart bug, aren’t you?” and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t fit. Made me laugh my ass off anyway, and I think the filmmakers are smart enough that the laughter was intentional. But despite the cheesy dialogue and wooden acting, “Starship Troopers” is pretty damned effective. It generates genuine suspense. The action sequences are rousing and pulse-pounding. The bugs are worthy opponents and nasty antagonists. And, as a military movie, this movie is far more effective than the oddly similar “Full Metal Jacket” . The basic training scenes are similarly harrowing and, unlike Kubrick’s movie, the film doesn’t go to sleep once these characters go into battle.

Yet for all its explosions and bug guts and dead people, at its crazy heart, “Starship Troopers” is a wicked satire. One that’s outrageous, and completely batshit insane. I cite the scene in which the former Doogie Howser walks up to a giant, vaginal slug in what appears to be a German S.S. uniform and proceeds to read its mind. There’s also a scene featuring former Golden Girl Rue McClenahan as an apparently blind, gung-ho teacher of insect biology. But Verhoeven’s film isn’t just insane. It also makes sharp points about imperialism and fascism and the dangers of an overzealous military that Michael Moore could only dream about. Are the bugs really evil? Sure, they suck people’s brains out and set them on fire, but an argument could be made that they are only defending themselves against a dangerous invader hellbent on their genocide. Those who see eerie similarities to an actual war might also be interested in how the military rushes in with all their firepower and a wealth of troops only to discover themselves outnumbered and underprepared against an enemy with a distinct home field advantage.

It turns out that Verhoeven did make a controversial film, one that, as the years go on, will incite debate and outrage that it never could have imagined. The only problem is that he made it about seven years too early. I have a feeling that time will be kind to “Starship Troopers” in a way that even Verhoeven could never have anticipated. It’s a smart film disguised as a stupid one. Yet even without the subversive elements and the anti-fascism (or is it pro-fascism? Therein lies its genius, it appears to be the bloodiest propaganda film ever made) message, “Starship Troopers” still works magnificently. If it were nothing more than a balls out, bloody film about killing giant bugs, I’d still be watching “Starship Troopers”, even after all these years.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 9th, 2007 at 7:27 pm and is filed under Dale's Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.