Loading ...What am I Waiting For? (2008 Edition)
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Loading ...by Dale J. Nauertz
When it’s all said and done, I think 2008 will stand as a great year for film. The summer was pretty damned great..aside from a couple of stale farts that were stinking up the cineplex (most notably “The Love Guru”, seriously one of the worst films I’ve ever had the misfortune to see). And while the slate of fall films doesn’t have a lot that I’m panting over, it does have some films that look quite promising…and a lot of upcoming movies that have me scratching my head and wondering “WTF?” which, frankly, I love. I love it when, instead of a bunch of Oscar bait horseshit about blind, mentally disabled swim teams played by actors desperate for an Oscar, we get a bunch of movies that just…don’t…quite…compute. You’ll see what I mean. What follows are ten movies that I’m fairly excited to see.
1. Quantum of Solace
I’m not going to lie to you: this is perhaps the worst title in cinematic history. I have no idea what it’s supposed to signify. I’m not entirely sure what the words “quantum” and “solace” mean, especially in such close proximity. But does it really matter? This is a James Bond movie. That means there will be explosions and car chases and all sorts of cool shit going on. Even when they’re not the best (”Die Another Day”, “The World is Not Enough”) they usually provide ample entertainment value. And since “Casino Royale” was one of the best Bond movies EVER I’m even more excited than usual. Daniel Craig was amazing as Bond last time and I’m hoping he brings the same intensity and charisma to the table again this time. I also hope that the producers and director (Marc Foster, who’s made some excellent films in the past few years such as “Finding Neverland” and “Stranger than Fiction”) stick to the gritty tone that made “Casino” so damned refreshing (no giant space lasers, please). I’m just really, really hoping that “Casino Royale” was the beginning of a new era rather than one last shining moment before an avalanche of shit. (coming out on 11/14)
2. Australia
“Moulin Rouge” remains one of my favorite films of this decade. It’s a shamelessly emotional powerhouse of a film that leaves me emotionally wrecked every time (okay, so, I’m something of a girl.). Baz Luhrmann, the director of that fine film, is also the director of this one. From the trailer it appears to be a gorgeous epic romance/war/western picture, maybe even an Australian “Doctor Zhivago”. Though, to be honest, “Moulin Rouge” was the only movie of Luhrmann’s that I didn’t think was an obnoxious, irritating extravaganza of crap and camp (okay, I guess “Strictly Ballroom” was fine, but “Romeo + Juliet” sucked incredibly hard). Still, Hugh Jackman generally rules and Nicole Kidman can be good in the right material. Plus, it’s nice to see Bryan Brown being projected onto a screen again. But the real reason I want to see this is because Australia is a kick-ass country. It’s one of the few countries I would consider moving to. I like it so much I even watched “Kangaroo Jack” once. As long as there’s action, deserts and a couple of kangaroos this at least won’t be a complete waste of time. (11/28)
3. The Wrestler
Darren Aronofsky is a visual stylist par excellence. He’s also something of a lunatic. “The Fountain” was an ingenious mediation on life/love/death involving conquistadors, cancer cures and inexplicable space travel. It was a shorter, less boring “Solaris”, in other words, and its visuals were truly stunning. Alas, it seems that nobody else cared. So now, apparently just to keep anyone from pigeonholing him, Aronofsky brings us a film about a down and out wrestler (Mickey Rourke) eking out a pitiful existence on the independent wrestling circuit with his daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) and a stripper with a heart of gold (Marisa Tomei, hopefully displaying her talents both literally and figuratively as well as she did in “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead”). This seems like a bizarre picture for Aronofsky to make simply because, well, it actually doesn’t sound all that bizarre. That’s what has me scratching my head. I’m curious to see if he brings his visually stunning tendencies to a less downbeat and fucked up venue. I’m also intrigued that this movie has been described as charming and funny, two attributes I cannot ascribe to any of the director’s previous work. Aside from that, I feel that Mickey Rourke is in the midst of a career renaissance and think he could wind up with an Oscar for this one if he’s half as good as the early buzz indicates. (12/19)
4. W
Oliver Stone used to be awesome. “Platoon”, “Wall Street”, “JFK”, “The Doors”, the screenplays for “Conan: The Barbarian” and “Scarface”: these are the evidence I use to support that statement. “Alexander” (ugh), “U Turn” and portions of “Natural Born Killers” are the films that openly refute that statement. (I haven’t seen “Nixon”, “World Trade Center” or “Salvador” so I’m not sure which side of the fence they come down on.) Ollie’s recent track record doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence, but if there’s any human being that could get Oliver pissed off enough to be great again, it’s George W. Bush. If he’s motivated enough to make a movie about the man, there’s a pretty good chance he’s brought his A-game and the full arsenal of his outrage. Otherwise, this could be a train wreck of legendary proportions. Either way it should be worth a look. Josh Brolin plays the titular presidential doofus, and he’s been on a roll for the past couple of years. Also, how can you resist James Cromwell as the paternal Bush, Ellen Burstyn as Barbara, Thandie Newton as Condie, Scott Glenn as Rummy and Richard Dreyfuss as Cheney. Maybe it’ll suck, but I’ve gotta take that chance. (10/17)
5. Synecdoche, NY
Charlie Kaufman is a lunatic. He’s written the scripts for “Being John Malkovich”, “Adaptation” and “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. See what I mean? Now he’s directing. “Synecdoche, NY” about a guy making a movie about a town named Synecdoche, NY and building a life-sized model of it within a warehouse while aging prematurely or dying a piece at a time…or something. Philip Seymour Hoffman is the lead actor. He’s supported by Samantha Morton, Dianne Wiest, Catherine Keener, and Michelle Williams. None of these people suck. The early buzz says that this is a great movie, possibly the best thing Kaufman has written. The trailer looks completely insane which, in this case, is actually a good sign. Kaufman has a real gift for defying expectations and writing insanely original plots populated by excellently developed characters that pay off in emotional landslides. He’s an eccentric genius and even if he fails, his failure should be utterly unlike any other movie ever made. (10/24)
6. “The Changeling”
Angelina Jolie stars in this promising drama about a woman whose son disappears in LA in 1928. The boy is soon found and returned to her. The only problem is, she claims that the boy is not really her son. Where is her real child? Why are the police so unwilling to re-open the case and, when she insists on pressing the matter, why are they so eager to have her committed? This is based on a true story, as though the plot weren’t already compelling enough, and co-stars John Malkovich (who, it seems, Clint has forgiven for stealing every scene of “In the Line of Fire” out from under him) and Colm Feore (an actor who’s probably menacing in his sleep). Judging by the trailer, this movie looks unsettling and utterly absorbing. And, with Clint’s sure and steady hand at the controls, it should be. Besides, if Clint Eastwood directs a movie, I will see it. (10/24)
7. “Gran Torino”
If Clint’s also IN that movie, well, that’s even better. Clint’s second film of the year comes out sometime around Christmas and stars him as a bitter Korean war veteran who bonds with a young Asian boy while they restore the old car of the title. I haven’t seen a frame of it, I know almost nothing about it, and I’m not sure when exactly it comes out, but I will see it. After “Million Dollar Baby” Clint said he was going to retire from acting. If this film is good enough to lure him back in front of the camera as well as behind it, well, that’s good enough for me. (TBA)
8. “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Brad Pitt plays a man named Benjamin Button who ages backwards. He falls in love with Cate Blanchett and their relationship is complicated as she grows older and he grows younger. By the trailer this looks interesting and visually stunning. Though, as my wife pointed out, it also looks like it could be the most depressing movie of all time. As good as it looks, and as interesting as the plot is, I’d probably be less interested if this movie weren’t directed by David Fincher. Yes, THAT David Fincher. This film seems like an odd choice for him. As far as I can tell there are no criminals or serial killers anywhere in it. Fincher is another of modern cinema’s premiere visual stylists, so I’m definitely interested to see what he does within a different genre than his usual one. After all, he has yet to make a bad film…of course there’s a first time for everything. (12/25)
9. “Valkyrie”
It’s Tom Cruise…trying to kill Hitler…and he’s got a FUCKING EYE PATCH!!! Yes, of course, I will see this. Other points in the plus column: it’s directed by Bryan Singer who’s usually pretty dependable, it’s got Kenneth “Shakespeare is my bitch” Branaugh in it (who even ruled in “Wild Wild West”), and, well, that’s all I have right now…but I’m sure there’s more. The only possible problem this movie has is that Tom looks pretty damned ridiculous in that eye patch, and I’m not buying him as a German at all. Sorry, Tom, I love ya, but a man’s got to know his limitations. If the movie was just about Branaugh trying to assassinate Hitler, well, that would just plain rule. Oh well. As long as the film doesn’t rewrite history and have Cruise succeed, I won’t bitch too loudly. (12/26)
10. “Revolutionary Road”
What were my two favorite films of the 1990’s? I’m glad you asked: “Titanic” and “American Beauty”. So the reason I’m psyched about this movie (and it’s pretty much the ONLY reason I’m psyched) is that the director of “American Beauty” (Sam Mendes) has reunited the main actors from “Titanic” (Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet and Kathy Bates) and made a movie with them. DiCaprio and Winslet play a husband and wife in the 1950’s who, bored and frustrated with their mundane and unfulfilling lives (apparently sex was illegal in the 50’s, it’s a wonder that any of us are even here), decide to pack up the cats/kids and move to France because, as we all know, EVERYTHING is better in Europe. Complications ensue…I hope, otherwise there’s really no movie here. Winslet and DiCaprio have chemistry together. If they didn’t, “Titanic” would not have made enough money to bail out Wall Street. And Mendes is a hell of a director. So this should be worth a look. Besides, when was the last time you saw a DiCaprio movie that wasn’t directed by Scorsese? That alone makes the film a novelty. (12/26)
Other Shit That Might Not Suck…
“Defiance”
Another movie about killing Nazis (and who can get their fill of those?). This one stars Daniel Craig and Jamie Bell and has them hiding a bunch of Polish refugees in the woods. It’s from the director of “Legends of the Fall” and “Last Samurai” (Edward Zwick) which means it’ll be perfectly fine without making that final leap to “awesome”. Prove me wrong, Zwick, prove me wrong. (12/5)
“Rocknrolla”
Guy Ritchie used to make kick-ass British crime movies. Now he just bangs Madonna. He’s made a couple of dogs as of late, but I’m hoping this (another British crime flick) will be his return to form. I loved “Snatch” and “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” so I’m rooting for the guy…despite the odds. (10/10)
“Body of Lies”
I like DiCaprio and Russell Crowe, they’re great actors. And I like Ridley Scott more than I used to (for some reason, I’ve watched nothing but his movies for the past two weeks) so, despite the fact that this doesn’t look like anything too amazing, I’m willing to give it a shot. Scott assembles gorgeously burnished motion pictures these days and draws brilliant work from Crowe. Plus, I’m sure DiCaprio will do fine. (10/10)
“Zack and Miri Make a Porno”
It’s time for me to confess: I like Kevin Smith. I don’t “love” Kevin Smith, but I watch pretty much any damn thing the guy directs, writes or stars in. Without his trailblazing influence (such as it is) the profane, pop-culture obsessed slacker comedy as we know it would not exist. In short: the films of Judd Apatow would cease to be. He’s not perfect, but at least he doesn’t pretend to be. He’s assembled two likeable leads this time (Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks) for the story of two friends who make a porno to raise some extra cash. This could be fun. (10/31)
“The Road”
Viggo Mortensen and some kid star in this adaptation of the best-selling bummer novel by Cormac McCarthy, directed by John Hillcoat, the man behind the depressing Australian western “The Proposition”. I was more excited for this film before I read the book which has been hailed as a modern classic and does read like most classic novels: you admire what it’s trying to do, and respect its carefully chosen esoteric language…but you’d rather be reading something else. With this director, this source material, and this star, this movie should be the most depressing motion picture EVER MADE! I recommend buying stock in Prozac and Zoloft. (11/14)
“Role Models”
This movie has Paul Rudd and the man who played Stiffler swearing at, to and in front of kids. They’re basically a couple of amoral pricks forced into a Big-Brother style program as community service for some mindless atrocity. I’m pre-ordering my ticket. (11/7)
“The Soloist”
I love Robert Downey Jr. and I’m glad that he’s finally getting the recognition he deserves. This is his push for an Oscar…or maybe it’s just Jamie Foxx’s push for ANOTHER Oscar. Downey plays the straight man to Foxx who plays a psychologically unbalanced, homeless music prodigy. I just read that description and something occurred to me: I must love Robert Downey Jr. a LOT. (11/21)
“Frost/Nixon”
…is actually a much funnier title if you hit the “Shift” key and end up with “Frost?Nixon”, but I digress. The people behind “The Queen” (which everyone loved but no one actually saw) have reunited for this film, which is about the (apparently) historic television interview between David Frost (played by Michael Sheen, the odious priest brother in “Kingdom of Heaven”) and Richard “Big Dick” Nixon (played by Frank “Big Dick” Langella). Langella’s an excellent character actor who should do a wonderful job as Nixon. Also, this movie has Sam Rockwell in it, who I love (platonically), and Kevin Bacon (those who’ve been trying to find a connection between Bacon and Rockwell at parties can now rest easy). This all sounds terrific. The trailer is really good. God, I can’t wait to see this movie. I wonder who directed it. Ron Howard. Oh. Never mind. (12/5)
I have no idea who’s in it or what it’s about but I recommend that we all go see “Slumdog Millionaire” when it comes out on November 28th, based solely on the title. (No, I’m not going to look it up. You’ve obviously got an internet connection, YOU look it up!)
And last, and maybe least, we have “The Brothers Bloom” which stars Rachel Weisz, Adrien Brody (if I were a big star, I’d get my nose and horrible teeth fixed, especially if said attributes were routinely projected to a thirty-foot height) and Mark Ruffalo. It’s about con men, and it’s from the man who brought you “Brick” (if you haven’t seen it, do so already, it’s actually pretty good). From the trailer it appears to be a wacky, fun-filled caper the likes of which we hardly ever see anymore.
Well, there you have it: everything worth knowing about for the next few months. I’ll be seeing at least a couple of those and I recommend that you do the same, unless you’re one of those miserable agoraphobic shut-ins who can’t bring themselves to leave the house, in which case I recommend waiting a couple of months and then putting them on your Netflix queue. Unless, of course, the pressures of your pitiful existence are becoming too much for you to bear, in which case I recommend downloading “The Road” as soon as it’s available on bittorrent and then ordering a big bottle of sleeping pills from Amazon. That’ll probably do the trick.
