by Dale J. Nauertz

Those of you who’ve been coming to this site for a while know the drill: every year I make a list of movies (usually ten) that I am interested in seeing for the remainder of the year. When I first began to compile this list, I had trouble limiting myself to only ten. Now I struggle to find ten intriguing films that are coming before the end of the calendar year. Is this because I am getting more choosy in my advancing years…or is it because Hollywood is becoming less and less able to produce stimulating product? It’s probably a little of both but, seriously, there isn’t a whole hell of a lot to get excited about between now and the end of December, no matter how forgiving a cinema enthusiast one may be. I have included the release date (remember, these slippery little buggers are always subject to change) and trailer link (whenever available) to each movie listed below for your convenience.

1. Invictus (12/11)
Clint Eastwood directs the tale of Nelson Mandela who, in one of his first acts as president of South Africa following his release from prison, campaigned to have his country host the World Cup in order to improve the image of his beleagured country. I’ll admit, the plot synopsis doesn’t exactly fill me with burning desire, but Clint’s recent filmography has been absolutely stellar. His skills seem to be improving with age. In fact, few modern directors can compare with the man when it comes to telling a good story with truly powerful emotional impact. Factor in Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela (I haven’t seen a frame of this film and I already wager he’s a lock for Best Actor, not because of any mamby-pamby political crap but because Freeman can elevate even dreck like “Deep Impact” without even seeming to try so I have no doubt that he will be truly astonishing in a role with some actual meat to it) and Matt Damon as a soccer player, and this film is about the surest thing coming out in the months ahead. As you will soon see, there doesn’t look to be much competition.

No trailer available.

2. The Men Who Stare at Goats (11/6)
George Clooney, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey are members of an elite Army unit attempting to train psychic supersoldiers (judging by the trailer, Clooney prefers to call them “jedi”) and Ewan McGregor is a reporter who stumbles upon them and decides to tell their strange story. Incidentally, this movie is allegedly based on a true story. This movie is so high on my list because, well, it has one hell of a great cast and a highly intriguing story to tell. Also, from the trailer, it looks absolutely hilarious. Of the movies that I’ve actually seen footage from, this one looks the best.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/themenwhostareatgoats/

3. 2012 (11/13)
I’m not made of stone. I, like everyone else, occasionally just want to turn off my brain and watch things go boom. And of all the big, dumb, effects-driven spectacles coming out before the end of the year, this one looks the biggest and the dumbest. Plus, it’s from Roland Emmerich, the Irwin Allen of the 21st Century. Emmerich would probably take that as a compliment, but it really isn’t. Like Allen, Emmerich makes large-scale disaster movies utilizing the latest in special effects technology and large casts of actors who should really know better. Also like Irwin Allen, Emmerich’s films are among the dumbest, cheesiest, most lame-brained concoctions ever to be projected onto a screen. After the so-so sabertoothed action of “10,000 BC”, Emmerich is going back to the “timely warning” genre that nabbed him one of his biggest hits (”The Day After Tomorrow”, a movie I never bothered to watch). This time Roland is warning us of the eminent shit storm/sandwich we should be bracing ourselves for when the Mayan Mega-Apocalypse (I WILL sue any metal band using that title for an album without paying me the proper royalties) hits in three years. Though Emmerich’s brain-dead spectacles have taken a swan dive in quality in recent years (which is surprising considering that I thought they pretty much started out at the bottom of the barrel) I hold out hope for a good, stupid time with this one. For one thing, he’s assembled a cast full of people I like (John Cusack, Woody Harrelson, Danny Glover, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Oliver Platt) sort of like (Amanda Peet and Thandie Newton are all right, I suppose) and whose existence I completely forgot about (wow, George Segal). For another, all the superstitious hokum and doomsday prophesizing should make for a wonderfully cheesy good time. And for yet another thing, Emmerich’s smashing the White House not only with a giant wave but with a freaking aircraft carrier…in the TRAILER!!! Either he’s just blown his biggest effect or (giddy enthusiasm building) that’s only the tip of the iceberg! Plus who knows, maybe this will be a real movie like “The Patriot” (I’m not saying it’s historically accurate, but it’s much better than any other Emmerich film). Hopefully it won’t just be twenty minutes of cool effects and two hours of walking around like Emmerich’s other recent films (”10,000 BC”, for example…though I’ve heard “The Day After Tomorrow” suffers from a similiar problem). I know it’s kinda odd to put this movie so high on this list but I’m just honestly more excited for big waves, endangered monks and White House flooding than I am for…

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/2012/

4. Avatar (12/18)
…blue cat people in love. Seriously? James Cameron is one of my favorite filmmakers, but not for the same reasons as most film geeks. Sure, I enjoyed the “Terminator” films, and “Aliens” was fine, but I was completely blown away by “Titanic” and I think “The Abyss” is easily his most underappreciated film (though even I’ll admit it’s something of a mess, but it’s a mess that I love). The plot for “Avatar” sounds fine: a paralyzed soldier uses the form of an alien species to navigate that planet in search of a vital natural resource, falls in love with one of the natives, and complications ensue. I was really pumped to see this movie…until I saw the trailer. The aliens look wrong, the environments look like the usual tropical paradise, and, well, it all looks a little too George Lucas and not enough James Cameron. Now, before the bitching commences, I must say that I like George Lucas. I love “Star Wars” and its sequels/prequels (mostly) but the world of Lucas’s recent work is one of goofy-looking aliens and pastel CGI environs. The work of James Cameron is defined by grit and realism…things that, judging by the trailer, appear to be lacking here. The aliens look kinda gangly and goofy and the whole thing just looks…off. Of course, this is just my reaction to a three minute trailer with no dialogue. The film itself could be great. I’m hoping for Malick’s “The New World” with aliens, but I will settle for less. Just…not…too much less.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/avatar/

Oh and, just for the record, I’ll probably see this in 2D. I’m still not convinced that 3D is anything but a clumsy gimmick. Even when it works (in “Coraline” it worked beautifully) it’s not cool enough to justify the inflated ticket price. Tell me a good story and I’ll come back, you don’t need to poke things at the screen to make me happy.

5. Zombieland (10/2)
I’m tired of zombie movies. Not as tired as I’m about to become of vampire movies, mind you, but still fairly tired. The genre has been done to death…and beyond. However, based on its trailer, this movie features Woody Harrelson playing a deranged redneck with a banjo and a straw cowboy hat who loves nothing better than killing zombies in increasingly creative ways. His sidekick is Jesse Eisenberg (from “The Squid and the Whale” and “Adventureland”) who seems like the young Hollywood actor least likely to kill a zombie and the always-fun-to-watch Emma Stone is also along for the ride. I may be tired of zombie movies, but I never tire of movies that find humor in a post-apocalyptic landscape. They seem to be released few and far between. Another interesting tidbit about this movie: according to the Internet Movie Database, Bill Murray is in this film playing himself. Add all that up, this sounds entirely too fun/insane to miss.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/zombieland/

6. Where the Wild Things Are
A confession: I’ve never read the book upon which this film is based. All I know is that it involves big, hairy monsters. All I know about this movie is that it involves big, hairy monsters and is directed by Spike Jonze. The mere idea of Spike Jonze directing a children’s film sends my mind reeling. The fact that it involves big, hairy monsters is just icing on the cake. My ass is definitely in a seat for this one, if only out of morbid curiosity.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/

7. The Invention of Lying (10/2)
Ricky Gervais (England’s version of “The Office”) lives in a world where everyone tells the truth all the time. When he suddenly finds that he’s the only man capable of lying, he begins to take advantage of the limitless amount of possibilities this skill offers. The concept behind this film is great. If the movie plays that concept to its full potential, this could be the funniest movie of the year. If it does only a half-assed job then it should at least be at least as good as last year’s underrated “Ghost Town”. Considering that Ricky not only stars in this but also wrote and directed it, I’m fairly certain it’ll rule. Bonus point: Jennifer Garner is in this movie, and I find her to be about the hottest woman in modern Hollywood. Not only that, but she can actually ACT!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/theinventionoflying/

8. Up in the Air (11/13)
George Clooney is on the list again. This time, he plays a man who flies so much that he’s on the verge of racking up ten million frequent flyer miles. While flying, he has met the frequent traveler of his dreams (Vera Farminga). Unfortunately, he’s also on the verge of being downsized. The film also features Jason Bateman and Danny McBride and is directed by Jason Reitman, who is having the sort of run his father Ivan enjoyed back in the 1980’s. Granted, the plot doesn’t sound revolutionary, but I like the director and actors and the film’s been getting excellent buzz on the festival circuit, so I’ll definitely go.

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1684406809/ (this one wasn’t available yet on Quicktime, sorry

9. The Boat That Rocked (or “Pirate Radio”, depending on the trailer you watch) (11/13)
From Richard Curtis, the man who’s almost single-handedly redeemed the romantic comedy genre (with his scripts for “Notting Hill”, “Four Weddings and a Funeral” and “Love Actually”) comes a movie about a boat in the swinging Sixties that broadcast rock and roll music to England and other parts of Europe from somewhere in the North Sea. The deejays aboard this vessel are, of course, lunatics and hooligans and party-hounds and the squares on the mainland are trying to shut them down because they’re dangerous…or having too much fun…or something. Anyways, the lunatic deejays are played by such entertaining gentlemen as Bill Nighy, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Rhys Ifans and Nick Frost and the leading square is played by Kenneth Branaugh. I’m not expecting brilliance here, but this looks like a good bet for solid entertainment.

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1266090521/

10. The Princess and the Frog (12/11)
It seems like forever since Disney made a good, old-fashioned, two-dimensional animated film. Actually, it’s only been five years. Their last one was “Home on the Range” in 2004, which no one saw because it was about cows and featured the voice talents of Rosanne Barr (Yeesh). So it’s actually kind of refreshing that Disney has gone and made something non-CG for a change. Unfortunately, this Cajun-style retread of the old frog-kissing fairy tale doesn’t look all that great and features the song stylings of Randy Newman yet again (it never fails to amuse me that the man who wrote “Rednecks”, a song whose chorus includes the phrase “keepin’ the niggers down” is now writing copious amounts of music for Disney). Oh well, I’m still rooting this movie not to suck, and for two-dimensional animation to make a comeback. Call me sentimental. But if no one goes to see it, I wouldn’t exactly blame the style of animation, Disney. The reason Pixar launched the CG revolution in the first place was because your stories got stale. Pixar can even take a movie about an old man with balloons tied to his house and weave storytelling gold out of it. What’s YOUR excuse, Disney?

Wait, I just learned that this movie features the voice of Oprah Winfrey so forget all that stuff I said about it maybe failing. Everything Oprah touches turns to gold!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/princessandthefrog/

Other Stuff that Looks Promising:

Whip It (10/2)
Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut (four words that really shouldn’t inspire confidence yet still somehow do, at least for me) concerns a feisty young beauty pageant contestant (Ellen Page) who decides to enter the cutthroat world of roller derby. It looks like fun, and it’s got some neat people in it: Kristen Wiig, Daniel Stern, Barrymore herself, and the always-awesome Marcia Gay Harden.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/whipit/

Law Abiding Citizen (10/16)
Gerard Butler loses his family to a serial killer, then masterminds some kind of convoluted revenge scheme against…the FBI?…The Courts?…I dunno, somebody. This actually looks like one of Butler’s better attempts at parlaying his participation in the fluke hit “300″ into actual leading man status. (On a side note: has any recent actor tried harder to be a leading man than Gerard Butler? “Reign of Fire”? “Tomb Raider 2″? Those were supposed to catapult him into household name territory and yet didn’t. Nor has anything else he’s done, which is why I consider “300″ a fluke.)
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/lawabidingcitizen/

A Serious Man (10/2)
I thought “No Country for Old Men” was overrated (yes, I know, I’m a moron, whatever)and “Burn After Reading” was deeply flawed/unsatisfying, but the Coens have still made many films that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed. Here’s hoping that they make a movie that I love again while everyone else’s backs are turned.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/focus_features/aseriousman/

The Fantastic Mr. Fox (11/13)
Wes Anderson tries his hand at a children’s film based on a Road Dahl book. Though this would appear to be a departure for Mr. Anderson, the trailer seems to suggest it has the same cast, music and even sets as Anderson’s live action films. Not that I’m complaining, I happen to love Wes Anderson’s other movies, but still, this is sort of discouraging. I was hoping he’d try something completely different. Oh well. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/fantasticmrfox/

Sherlock Holmes (12/25)
This movie looks completely ridiculous. But, hey, so does “2012″ so who am I to judge? Guy Ritchie is pretty much the last person I would pick to helm a Sherlock Holmes movie and Robert Downey Jr. is pretty much the last person I would choose to PLAY Sherlock Holmes, so let’s see if two wrongs make a right. The trailer makes this movie look breezy and entertaining…but it doesn’t look anything like a Sherlock Holmes movie (Holmes is hitting on chicks and wearing sunglasses for cripe’s sake!). As Jones so often says, “This looks like the new ‘Wild Wild West’.” But I’m one of the handful of people who actually enjoyed “Wild Wild West” on some insane level, so I say “Bring It On!”
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/sherlockholmes/

Movies That Will Probably Suck:

Twilight: New Moon
Last time I checked I wasn’t a teenaged girl, so why should I care? Didn’t see the first one, not gonna see this one.

A Christmas Carol
Oh, Robert Zemeckis. You know I love you, ever since your “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and “Used Cars” days. When your movies stopped being whimsical and loony (”Contact” and “What Lies Beneath”, for example) I still stuck by you. And then, when you completely turned to making motion-captured uncanny valley movies, I gave them a shot just for old times sake and they were actually pretty good. But I’m gonna sit this one out. For one thing, the Scrooge story has been done about five-hundred thousand times, in about every conceivable fashion. Doing it with motion capture and in 3D isn’t enough for me to sit through it yet again. Also, I’m pretty sick of Jim Carrey and it seems that he’s playing nearly every role in this film. So thanks…but no thanks. Call me when you’ve finished the 3D, motion-captured “Yellow Submarine”. The world doesn’t need THAT either, but I’m a Beatlemaniac so I have a moderately higher interest level.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at 2:21 pm and is filed under Dale Nauertz. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.