By Dale Nauertz

There is a man in a white tux. He walks into a bar, glances nonchalantly at his watch, makes eyes with a dancer, and something explodes. Everyone else in the bar runs out to see what has happened. He stands still at the bar, doing something with his eyebrows that is subtly too cool for words.

His name is Bond, James Bond. And if any mere mortal man could muster the amount of cool that Sean Connery shows in this one scene, we would never have to worry about trying to get a date ever again. We would also, I venture, be able to die happy men.

There is something unmistakably cool about the man, no matter who plays him. The men who play him must be chosen for their good looks, their suave nature, their amount of chest hair (seems to be part of the equation) and, above all, their utter coolness. Bond is the man that we would all love to be: a chick magnet, owner of a really cool car, an arsenal of gadgets at his command. He also can save the world without even getting his hair messed up. This is why he has survived the decades while other movie series have fallen by the wayside. This is the reason he still endures. He is not a man, he is our modern myth, a larger than life figure, just a couple steps below Superman. And we can always count on him to deliver two hours or so of astoundingly fun entertainment. Another amazing thing about the man: in all these years, he has never given us a bad movie.

Although “The Man With the Golden Gun” was pretty close.

So, in honor of the release of several of his films on DVD, I have taken this opportunity to compile the list of my personal favorite Bond films. These are the best of the best, the cream of the crop as far as I am concerned. They are the reasons that I am a Bond nut, even after all these years.

1. “From Russia With Love”

The best of the best. Connery is in top form here, cooler than ever. The story is one of the series’s best: a wild concoction of intrigue, danger and suspense, with a little romance and globe-trotting thrown in for good measure. It has Bond’s best villain: the burly, enigmatic Grant (played to steely perfection by a young Robert Shaw). It has the most easy to follow plot, it has a marvellous match of wits and muscles between Bond and his adversary aboard the Orient Express, and it does all this without the usual over-the-top touches that the Bond movies are sometimes guilty of. It also has the most satisfying ending of any Bond film. A classic in every sense of the word.

2. “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”

Although you rarely hear about him, George Lazenby steps very nicely into the role of James Bond. He exudes the coolness of Connery, yet he also allows you a glimpse into the mind of 007 that hasn’t quite been done since. Diana Rigg is the best of the Bond girls, and it is easy to see why Bond would want to stop his bed-hopping ways and settle down with her. She can drive, she can flirt, she can match wits with a supervillain. Who wouldn’t want to marry this woman? Telly Savalas also takes the role of Blofeld (the unseen, cat-loving psycho) and manages to put his own unique and graceful stamp on it. As Telly plays him, Blofeld is almost a match for Bond in the coolness catagory. And the ending will break your heart. Humor, wit, chemistry between Bond and his lady, a remarkable villain, one of the best ski chases ever filmed, and moments that will actually touch your heart. An amazing film. (A+, by the way).

3. “Goldfinger”

Connery shows up twice on this list, although that shouldn’t be a surprise. This one boasts the most memorable moments of any Bond film: the laser beam between the legs, the woman smothered in gold paint, Oddjob throwing his deadly hat and, of course, the meeting of Bond and Pussy Galore. The villain’s plot is ingenius (although we don’t really understand why he is showing it to these guys when he just plans to kill them in ten minutes anyway) and the Bond theme is used just enough to make things interesting. The only downside to this movie is the ending. The method in which Goldfinger is done away with is a bit of a letdown, but there is still more than enough to recommend this as mandatory viewing for any Bond fan or for those who want to be.

4. “For Your Eyes Only”

Roger Moore finally sinks into the role of 007 and shows us a bit of what is going on inside Bond’s head. We see true anger from him many times, as well as true regret and maybe even love. Not only that, but the action sequences are pure dynamite. Bond does not rely on the gadgets in this one, but rather he uses his wit and ingenuity to escape from every danger. And the part where he is rock-climbing to infiltrate the evil fortress will have you on the very edge of your seat. I guarantee it.

5. “Tomorrow Never Dies”

Brosnan is my second favorite James Bond and this movie is every reason why. He has the pure animal magnetism of Connery, the wit and dry humor of Roger Moore at his best, and the emotional range of Lazenby. If Connery had not already invented the role and made it his own, then Brosnan would be the best. The villain may be a bit too over the top, but other than that there is nothing wrong with this entry in the Bond series. His car is one of the best, the stunts and action are sensational and the villain’s dastardly plot is relevant to this day and age. All the planets are not quite aligned here, but it’s still one of the most entertaining spectacles that Bond has ever provided.

And there you have it. The five Bond films that you absolutely, positively have to rent, in my opinion. And, if at all possible, watch them on DVD. With the extras, the commentaries, the special features, and the documentaries you will have so many gadgets at your disposal that you might feel a little like, well, Bond.