By Dale Nauertz
I probably say this every year (though it seems true every year) but this has been a pretty shitty year in film. There have been a few gems, but definitely less than five of them (“V for Vendetta”, “Little Miss Sunshine” and “The Matador” are the only great flicks that come immediately to my mind). On the whole, my attitude toward the year’s films has been one of boredom, disappointment or both. That’s okay, though, because I’ve saved some money (which I proceeded to blow on other things) and read more books than usual. But I’m surprisingly optimistic about what the fall and winter months hold. I have a feeling that all the year’s best movies will be seen in the next three months and that some of them might be pretty spectacular. There are some great filmmakers behind some of these films, and some truly intriguing concepts and premises. They could still suck, of course, nothing is ever surefire, but when it comes to entertainment and enlightenment, these are the films that I’ve got my money on. Like last year’s list, I’m going to use the Homeland Security color scheme to indicate my level of interest in upcoming films. As with our country’s terror alerts, any of these films could escalate from one color group to a group of higher interest based on word of mouth, critical acclaim, a great trailer or a really boring weekend.
Here’s how the color schemes break down:
Green: these are films I have virtually no interest in. In fact, I would do anything in power to stay away from these films. No foreseeable force could make me go. I will not probably not even mention them.
Examples: “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” or “The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause” (merely hearing these titles is enough to irritate me)
Blue: I don’t really want to see these either, but if I were drugged, abducted and returned to consciousness in a theater playing one of these films, I wouldn’t be too displeased. (Though I would wonder who the hell would go through such trouble just to get me to see “Gridiron Gang” or Russell Crowe’s “A Good Year”)
Yellow: I would describe my attitude toward any films in this category as “mildly intrigued”. I doubt I’d be intrigued enough to see them in the theater but, as I already mentioned, a great trailer or a really boring day off might be enough to get my ass in a seat.
Examples: “Flushed Away”, “Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny”
Orange: I want to see these, probably even in a theater, but if they’re released the same weekend as something on the red list, they’re gonna have to wait their turn.
Examples: “Casino Royale”, “Fast Food Nation”
Red: Movies I really, really want to see. Unfortunately, it’s a pretty short list.
Now, onto:
The Red Alert List
1. The Fountain
Like “Gangs of New York” this film is making its second appearance on this list. It was supposed to come out last fall/winter, but it didn’t. I was sad. But it’s pretty much a lock that this film is finally getting released in November. Why do I care? The teaser and trailer both looked excellent. The plot, as I understand it, is highly intriguing (Hugh Jackman on a quest for eternal life and the love of that eternal life, played by Rachel Weisz, one of the few women worth searching for over the course of several centuries if you ask me). The visuals are highly arresting. And all of this is being put together by Darren Aronofsky, who hasn’t made a film since 2000’s haunting “Requiem for a Dream”…mostly because he was having so much trouble putting this film together. Brad Pitt was initially supposed to star, but he dropped out. There were the usual studio run-ins and so forth, but despite these complications it seems that this film will finally see the light of day. And I, for one, am psyched.
2. “Southland Tales”
This is the second film from Richard Kelly, the director of “Donnie Darko”. “Donnie Darko” was great and extremely messed up, and “Southland Tales” sounds like more of the same. It’s got The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jon Lovitz, Stiffler, Justin Timberlake and John Larroquette in it. Apparently, it’s about the Apocalypse (which takes place in the summer of 2008). I’ve seen a couple clips from this film and they didn’t look amazing, but they certainly looked intriguing. At the very least, it looks just fucked up enough to be a good time. The Internet Movie Database has this film scheduled to come out in November, but they don’t have a specific date listed for it yet and no trailer has yet been released. That isn’t a good sign. The film had quite a buzz going for it earlier in the year, but that buzz evaporated due to a disastrous screening at the Cannes Film Festival. Still, I want to see it. If the French hated it, it could conceivably rock pretty hard. Of all the films on this list, this one is the most apt to end up on my list again next year. Here’s hoping it gets released before its own apocalyptic deadline.
3. “The Prestige”
I’m champing at the bit for this one. I was interested in it by its mere premise: at the turn of the 20th century, two magicians (Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale) start as friends but soon become competitors, each trying to top the other with a more spectacular stage act. David Bowie portrays electrical genius Nicola Tesla (the inventor of radio and many other fine things whose inventions were usually “liberally borrowed” by the likes of Thomas Edison and others) who apparently helps out at least one of these fictionalized Houdinis. Christopher Nolan chose this project as his follow-up to “Batman Begins” (and likely the film that will precede his involvement in its sequel “The Dark Knight”). Between this and “The Illusionist” it seems that early 20th century magic acts are going to be well represented at the box office this fall. I’ve always been intrigued by the world of early 1900’s magic (Harry Houdini and the book “Carter Beats the Devil” are two of my main reasons for this). But, of the two, this is the one that I have more interest in. “The Illusionist” looks interesting and all, but it looks like a romance between an egocentric magician (Edward Norton), a hot chick (Jessica Biel) and some count or something (Rufus Sewell). “The Prestige” looks more mysterious and gothic (judging by its amazingly cool trailer). Plus, the idea of dueling magicians is more interesting than another damn love story. And, just for those of you still on the fence, “The Prestige” has Michael Caine. I rest my case.
4. “Stranger Than Fiction”
Will Farrell stars in a film from the director of “Monster’s Ball” as a man who one day discovers that he can hear someone narrating the events of his life. When he hears that same, narrating voice coming from his TV during a talk show one day he begins to suspect his life might be the creation of a renowned writer, played by Emma Thompson. Unfortunately for Will’s character, Emma Thompson is contemplating the death of his character and he has to somehow stop her. This sounds highly intriguing, though I’m frankly amazed that the script wasn’t written by Charlie Kaufman. It sounds like the brand of absurdity that is his bread and butter. The film looks to be quirky, surreal craziness in the vein of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” or “Adaptation”. If that’s actually the case, it should be an excellent time. Plus, this might be Will’s chance to branch out and illustrate that he can do more than the ingeniously moronic comedies he seems to specialize in.
5. “Flag of Our Fathers”
It’s another damned war movie, true. But this one is directed by Clint Eastwood, whose recent film output has been better than just about anyone else in Hollywood. Aside from that, and according to the trailer, “Flags of Our Fathers” appears to be move beyond the usual battle, bonding scene, battle template utilized by most World War Two films. The film concerns the battle of Iwo Jima, the boys who raised the flag on Iwo Jima, and the media attention and aftermath of that event, wherein the American military made the boys into celebrities in order to sell war bonds and bolster the financial position of their war machine, which might have been just as important as the strategy of the battles themselves. If it really does concern more than just a seemingly endless stream of Pacific theater battles, and if it is up to par with Clint’s recent cinematic output, then this has an excellent shot at winning “Best Picture”. And kicking the ass, once again, out of…
6. “The Departed”
…Martin Scorsese!!! This film is Marty’s third with Leonardo DiCaprio (one of those things that make you go…Hmmm). I guess Leo must be the DeNiro of his generation after all. All of us ardent DiCapriots were right after all, and all you Leo-haters were simply bothered by his looks. Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and Jack Freakin’ Nicholson are on board as well. As far as casts go, that’s pretty impressive. The film is an Americanization of a pretty terrific Hong Kong thriller called “Infernal Affairs”. Like 98% of Hong Kong thrillers, this one is about people undercover, one a gangster undercover in the police and the other a police officer undercover in a gang. It’s about the nature of identity and good and evil and all the usual Hong Kong action movie themes. Scorsese should have a field day with that sort of material, plus it might give Nicholson the chance to do some wonderful scenery chewing (at which he excels) and Damon and DiCaprio the occasion to face off and be all angsty. This all sounds very promising. And who knows, if Scorsese just does a movie he wants to do rather than flirting with Oscar gold like he has in the past, he might just win one. Just don’t get your hopes up and act all pissy if you lose again, Marty. You’re starting to look like a crybaby.
7. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
It’s not often that a comedy comes out as controversial as “Borat”. It hasn’t even been released yet and it’s got an entire country pissed off. The president of Kazakhstan has even scheduled a meeting with President Bush to discuss the ramifications of this film…despite the fact that its lead actor, writer and general mastermind (Sascha Baron Cohen) is actually from Britain. I don’t really care about any of that. All I know is that the character of Borat, played by Cohen on his HBO series “Da Ali G show”, is a hilarious creation. On “Da Ali G Show” Borat interacts with average Americans (all of them clueless that he’s only a character) under the guise of making an informative television show for those in his home country of Kazakhstan. These clueless Americans generally embarrass themselves, and a good time is had by all watching. The movie looks like more of the same, but that’s fine by me. Borat’s shenanigans usually leave me in stitches, and I’ve been yearning for a great comedy. “Borat” looks like the season’s (year’s?) best bet.
8. Apocalypto
Mel Gibson’s latest movie is the story of a Mayan sacrifice who rejects his destiny and wants to live. I don’t know this for certain, but I would assume this touches off a bloody revolt. As with Mel’s last film, the movie is not in English, filled with subtitles and is certain to be bloody (from what I remember of Mayan history from high school, they weren’t exactly touchy feely). Why do I want to see this? First of all, I love Mel, no matter what kind of antics he’s up to. Secondly, from the trailer, this movie looks downright, batshit insane. No matter what, it’s bound to be unique.
Orange Alert:
1. “Casino Royale”
I love James Bond movies. I’ve seen them all, even the bad ones (“The Man With the Golden Gun”, “Diamonds are Forever”) and I’m sure that I’ll see this one too. The trailer makes it look pretty good, but I’m still not sold on restarting the Bond franchise…particularly in modern day. The book on which this film is based was damned good, but I’m not sure how it will work in a modern context. Plus, I like Bond the way he is. I don’t need him to be grittier or modernized or blonde. Still, I can’t deny the drawing power of 007. I’d be lying if I told you I was even going to try.
2. “A Night at the Museum”
Ben Stiller is a guard at the New York Museum of Natural History. As it happens, the museum comes to life at night. Basically, that means Ben will have spend the majority of this film running from CGI. So it’s essentially “Jumanji” with Ben Stiller. Hell, it’s even got Robin Williams in it as Teddy Roosevelt. I liked “Jumanji”, I like Teddy Roosevelt (if I had to choose a favorite president, he might be it), and I like that Dick Van Dyke and Mickey Rooney are getting work in this film. Mark my words, this movie may not seem like much now, but it’s going to be one of the season’s surprise hits. Trust me.
3. “The Good Shepherd”
Robert DeNiro directs and Matt Damon stars in the story of the CIA and its evolution over the years. As long as its better than “Syriana”, I’ll be happy. Plus, it’s got Joe Pesci in it. Remember when Joe Pesci got work? Those were good times.
4. “Children of Men”
Alfonso Cuaron follows up “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” with this, an intriguing film about a future where humans can no longer procreate. Clive Owen plays a former activist escorting a mysteriously pregnant woman (Julianne Moore) to a lab in the ocean…or something. I don’t know the specifics, but I am interested. Very, very interested. I like futuristic movies, I like Julianne Moore, and I like Clive Owen. I see no reason not to see this.
5. “Pan’s Labyrinth”
Guillermo Del Toro (director of “Hellboy” and “Blade 2”) is one messed up dude. I am intrigued by this, his latest film, that tells the story of a young girl who enters a labyrinth and discovers that she is a princess who must complete three dangerous tasks in order to achieve her destiny. Underground settings and strange effects are a given. But will David Bowie make an appearance? Time will tell.
6. “For Your Consideration”
The gang behind “Best in Show”, “Waiting for Guffman” and “A Mighty Wind” strikes again. This time they are using their improvisational skills to tell the story of an independent film that gets award consideration come Oscar time. Should be amusing, with some gut-busting moments…just like the others.
7. “Fast Food Nation”
I love the work of director Richard Linklater. Here, he takes on the world of fast food with a little help from Greg Kinnear and Bruce Willis. Could be interesting.
8. “Man of the Year”
Robin Williams plays a Jon Stewart clone who runs for president as a joke. When he gets elected, it turns out the joke is on him. Lewis Black, Christopher Walken, and Laura Linney round out the cast for this, a comedy with a solid premise from director Barry Levinson, who’s never made a downright BAD film and usually guides Williams to some of his better work. He did direct “Good Morning Vietnam”, after all. I’ll go in the hopes that Robin Williams can be funny again.
And there you have it. A not-so-brief list of movies I’ll probably shell out money for. Some of them are bound to suck (in a perfect world, all of these films would be great) and some of them are bound to run too long or have a little too much fat in the middle or perhaps be just too weird for their own damn good, but this list is and has always been about potential. These are the films I’ve found in the upcoming schedule with the potential for goodness, perhaps even greatness.
But moviegoing is like gambling. You roll the dice and take your chances. Unfortunately, as of late, the House usually wins.
Loading ...
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 4)
Loading ...
(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 4)
